It’s my birthday.
Tonight with tears in my eyes I kissed the forehead of the woman who brought me into this world, and whispered a thank you in her ear. She had a rough day. She was sleeping. I watched her sleep. Her brow was troubled and only sometimes would it soften and relax.
Arlene Bollt, my mother, has been living with cancer for a long time. Her steady decline over these last few years has recently become much more steep. She is starting to let go… of everything. I see the sands flowing through the hourglass. I have no way of knowing how many precious grains remain.
Sometimes it has me feel as awake as I have ever been, naked in this moment with nothing to hide, nothing to loose and nothing to gain. I’m free to play in the garden until I too am crushed back into the soil. It feels like I’m being ripped to pieces sometimes… and then I think that’s just my armor being taken from me. I will surrender it all in the end anyway. Might as well let it go.
This burning fire that is life itself draws matter into it’s beautiful machinery and blossoms as consciousness. I see the clouds form even as they evaporate. I see the flowers rise in the field as others fall back into the soil. Upon the blank canvas of my awareness the universe paints itself as a beautiful garden.
I own nothing… no more than I own the sky.
I own everything… every bit as much as I own the sky.
I’m spending the day in silence and solitude. To my family, my friends, my fans… and to every random stranger who has ever crossed my path… thank you. I would not trade this perspective of mine for anything. Thank you for the birthday wishes. I’m honored and deeply moved by so many wonderful people. I am blessed beyond my wildest dreams.
Arlene Bollt… thank you for everything.
I am deeply grateful.
I love you all…!